Why Pilgrims are evil.

Now then, you must be wondering, WHY exactly are Pilgrims evil? Well, they have done many bad things over the years. It all started in the beginning of time. They were one of the first lifeforms in the universe. But they were evil. They flew across the universe, kicking babies and killing puppies. They finally settled on Earth, where they waited to perform evil deeds. First, they killed the dinosaurs. Then they killed Jesus. They were responsible for slavery, AND they caused the Holocaust. People were not having a wonderful time during the existance of the Pilgrims.

Now you must be wondering. MP, WHY? Why would they do this? We learned in Elementary School that the Pilgrims were nice, and had a feast with the Indians. Well, something they don't tell you is that they unleashed their Hordes of Decepticons on the Indians, and oh, they had a feast with the Indians. That is, with the Indians as a main Course. Why didn't they tell you this in School? Because. THE PILGRIMS HAVE CONTROL OF THE BOARD OF EDUCATION, AND THE GOVERNMENT. EVER WONDER WHY GEORGE W. BUSH'S BROTHER'S NICKNAME IS JEB? THAT'S A SHORTENING OF JEBEDIAH! THEY'RE PILGRIMS!

The Pilgrims did something we would never expect in 2001. They attacked the World Trade Center and the Pentagon. They were reponsible for 9/11. Help stop them before it's too late. Their new plan, Global Warming, may possibly end in the death of billions. We have to stop them now. Before it's too late.